Bratz Golf Girl , the Quintessential Golf Slut

Not that I have any problem with golf sluts. In fact, yesterday as I dutifully performed my CyberMonday shopping duties, I was positively giddy to come upon "Cloe the Bratz Sportz Golf Doll". As soon as I saw her I was all happy, having found the perfect gift for Jennifer, my 7-year-old, beginning golfer god-daughter. Or so I thought. It turns out most responsible, suburban Moms hate Bratz Dolls. They loath them to the extent that they fantasize about taking a flame thrower to the entire line and melting it into a massive puddle of putrid plastic. I didn't know this, but Lisa told me. Lisa is Jennifer's Mom and she feels Bratz "send the wrong message". Something about unattainable body standards, skanky, slutty clothes and the whole it's-all-about-the-mall theme. "Even the Baby Bratz wear thong underwear, and they're supposed to be babies!" Lisa chastised, cutting me off as I described Cloe's chic black & white golf bag. OK I'll admit, with their spindly bodies, oversized heads, huge pouty lips and cold, bored, bedroom eyes, I can sort of see how they might not be the best roll models for a precocious 7-year-old. But they sure look like they'd be lots of fun to play with, and now I have to find another present for Jennifer. Of course, like most 7-year-olds in Fairfield County, Jennifer already has everything else. Everything. So let me get back to cyber shopping and see what I can come up with. In the meantime, don't tell anyone, but I ordered a Cloe doll for myself.

This is Cloe's trading card. Her Amazon product discription reads: She's got Bratz-sassy style that's the talk of the country club. Chic Cloe is dressed head-to-toe in a hip hole-in-one golfing outfit including white shoes, a warm-up vest and stylish knee-highs; also comes with complete golfing gear including clubs, a ball and a bag, plus a star-shape comb and collectible sticker. Ages 6 years and up. Imported.

Here's Cloe with her girls; Bowling Meygan, Soccer Yasmine and Sasha the Cheerleader.