Not that I have any problem with golf sluts. In fact, yesterday as I dutifully performed my CyberMonday shopping duties, I was positively giddy to come upon "Cloe the Bratz Sportz Golf Doll". As soon as I saw her I was all happy, having found the perfect gift for Jennifer, my 7-year-old, beginning golfer god-daughter. Or so I thought. It turns out most responsible, suburban Moms hate Bratz Dolls. They loath them to the extent that they fantasize about taking a flame thrower to the entire line and melting it into a massive puddle of putrid plastic. I didn't know this, but Lisa told me. Lisa is Jennifer's Mom and she feels Bratz "send the wrong message". Something about unattainable body standards, skanky, slutty clothes and the whole it's-all-about-the-mall theme. "Even the Baby Bratz wear thong underwear, and they're supposed to be babies!" Lisa chastised, cutting me off as I described Cloe's chic black & white golf bag. OK I'll admit, with their spindly bodies, oversized heads, huge pouty lips and cold, bored, bedroom eyes, I can sort of see how they might not be the best roll models for a precocious 7-year-old. But they sure look like they'd be lots of fun to play with, and now I have to find another present for Jennifer. Of course, like most 7-year-olds in Fairfield County, Jennifer already has everything else. Everything. So let me get back to cyber shopping and see what I can come up with. In the meantime, don't tell anyone, but I ordered a Cloe doll for myself.
This is Cloe's trading card. Her Amazon product discription reads:
She's got Bratz-sassy style that's the talk of the country club. Chic Cloe is dressed head-to-toe in a hip hole-in-one golfing outfit including white shoes, a warm-up vest and stylish knee-highs; also comes with complete golfing gear including clubs, a ball and a bag, plus a star-shape comb and collectible sticker. Ages 6 years and up. Imported.
Here's Cloe with her girls; Bowling Meygan, Soccer Yasmine and Sasha the Cheerleader.
Not that I have any problem with golf sluts. In fact, yesterday as I dutifully performed my CyberMonday shopping duties, I was positively giddy to come upon "Cloe the Bratz Sportz Golf Doll". As soon as I saw her I was all happy, having found the perfect gift for Jennifer, my 7-year-old, beginning golfer god-daughter. Or so I thought. It turns out most responsible, suburban Moms hate Bratz Dolls. They loath them to the extent that they fantasize about taking a flame thrower to the entire line and melting it into a massive puddle of putrid plastic. I didn't know this, but Lisa told me. Lisa is Jennifer's Mom and she feels Bratz "send the wrong message". Something about unattainable body standards, skanky, slutty clothes and the whole it's-all-about-the-mall theme. "Even the Baby Bratz wear thong underwear, and they're supposed to be babies!" Lisa chastised, cutting me off as I described Cloe's chic black & white golf bag. OK I'll admit, with their spindly bodies, oversized heads, huge pouty lips and cold, bored, bedroom eyes, I can sort of see how they might not be the best roll models for a precocious 7-year-old. But they sure look like they'd be lots of fun to play with, and now I have to find another present for Jennifer. Of course, like most 7-year-olds in Fairfield County, Jennifer already has everything else. Everything. So let me get back to cyber shopping and see what I can come up with. In the meantime, don't tell anyone, but I ordered a Cloe doll for myself.
This is Cloe's trading card. Her Amazon product discription reads: She's got Bratz-sassy style that's the talk of the country club. Chic Cloe is dressed head-to-toe in a hip hole-in-one golfing outfit including white shoes, a warm-up vest and stylish knee-highs; also comes with complete golfing gear including clubs, a ball and a bag, plus a star-shape comb and collectible sticker. Ages 6 years and up. Imported.
Here's Cloe with her girls; Bowling Meygan, Soccer Yasmine and Sasha the Cheerleader.
Was this doll inspired by Natalie Gulbis? No really, it looks and acts just like her.
ReplyDeleteY0u got it wrong Marco the doll came first Gulbis modeled herself ater the doll
ReplyDeleteNow how did I just KNOW that you'd get one for yourself...
ReplyDeleteHow did Lisa know about the Baby Bratz' underwear unless she checked 'em out....
ReplyDeleteI'm just sayin'....
Bratz are whores... thats my opinion, the ONLY person who could have thought of making these dolls and their clothing is a horny man or lesbain or extremely smart business person who thought " OH heres an idea lemme make a slutty group of dolls that not only children will buy but also i can get the expetophile consumers"
ReplyDeletebtw pat, i read your write six times and i still no contrendo(sp)... I hate this comprehension learning disability....
ReplyDeleteanmomymous.... she brought her kid the doll you know how kinds like to exchange clothing with other doll clothing she probably noticed the thong while jen was changing it or the jen was like mommy was the underwear like a string.
ReplyDeletethink before you write
Reading a hot woman using the term 'sluts' multiple times is scorchingly hot....
ReplyDeleteBratz dolls are totally disgusting and they're aggressively marketed to kids through cartoons, games, a clothing line and other products. It's a brand and it glorifies a self-centered, materialistic, superficial lifestyle to our most incorrigible demographic, pre-teen girls. I'm surprised there's not more of an outcry about these dolls.
ReplyDeleteheather, i agree with you. the dolls are bad but it looks like they're here to stay and lets face it, lots of us grew up with barbie, not the best roll model and we came out ok. at least i think we did.
ReplyDeleteFor the lack of anything better to do I searched who invented bratz and its an iranian man
ReplyDeletehe named each brat after his own children....
Jordy, you really are lifeless! That's so interesting though. I would never have imagined Bratz being invented by an Iranian Dad...a suburban Detroit mall rat maybe...but an Iranian Dad...Geez. Interesting topic, isn't it? Thanks all for the comments. Specially the one about the hot woman thing. I'll try to use the term 'sluts' more often.
ReplyDelete;o)
There you go again, Pat, you use the word 'slut' again....
ReplyDeletePleeeze stop....
Is this how the Iranina government going to 'attack' us? By morally bankrupting our impressionable youth and guillable tweenies?
ReplyDeleteIts funny in Iran women have to cover up and all this stuff... i believe maybe people in Iran believe Americans dress our children like whores and make them wear thongs?
ReplyDeleteI think people from other countries see artist like Britney spears, JoJo, "the old" christina agulara, ECT and beleive we as a society act and dress like that...
yeah I need a life maybe i should take up golf
Jordy,
ReplyDeleteYou really think people from other countries are that guillable? Perhaps it takes one to know one.
They see us more like unreasonable bully who insist on our way or the bombs.
first off I'm not even talking about bombing and the war I'm talking about marketing, you make a product your consumer would like and relate to.... so i said maybe that country believes we dress our 7 year old in thongs and the our pants never meet our shirts
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ReplyDelete