I can't help thinking back to those amazing photos that showed the family...loving parents, precious children and the two adorable dogs... all bathed in a soft glow of health, wealth and happiness. The pictures were undeniably beautiful. They made some people happy and hopeful (reinforcing the belief that perfection was actually possible) while others were annoyed... by that very perfection... as they suspected it was but a well-crafted charade.
The thing is, objectively we realize that no family will ever be perfect, and that we shouldn't seek perfection in the family portraits of athletes, actors or politicians... but it's human nature to do so, and in a sense, it perpetuates the need for those families to maintain an illusion of flawlessess. To some extent it may even encourage the kind of falsity that led to what happened here.
On a personal note, this whole story made me realize just how much those who know me connect me to golf. Virtually every friend or family member I've spoken to over the past four days has started the conversation with some variation of "So what is going on with Tiger Woods?" It was strange, and somewhat amusing. And I'm sure other golf writers and those in golf-related businesses... not to mention professional golfers... experienced something similar.
The fact is, I hate having to say "nobody's perfect" when someone asks me about Tiger Woods, because I never thought that would be the right answer... and never wanted it to be. I'm not an investigative journalist, and I've felt no responsibility to call for confessions or chase down sources and statements. Many others have though, because they see it as their job... which is fine. We live in a voyeuristic world with a voracious appetite for scandal and a collective fascination with the dalliances of celebrities, and there's a market for all manner of media coverage.
At this point, with charges dropped and statements made, I'll simply say that I support Tiger Woods and his beautiful family, because no one can know what goes on in a marriage and no family is perfect... no matter how perfect they may look in a portrait.
I do wish the family (which includes him) well. He is a super talent. I still want to think he is a flawed but decent young man. My only problem is that he has campaigned for us to think of him as "perfect." To think of him as "ideal." He wanted it for a legacy. He wanted it to market himself. Nightline tonight said he has made 80% of his money off the course. That is the part I have more trouble swallowing
ReplyDeleteYes, and that's part of what I'm talking about. Tiger Woods was idealized, many thought he was perfect... and he probably began to believe that too. This is the rude awakening happening.
ReplyDeleteOutstanding post. I have 'bled' with John Daly through his issues because he did something for golf. He showed us we can all 'have our day in the sun'. When Tiger returns, in spirit, I am with him as well.
ReplyDeleteHe carries a huge weight from the media, fans, and sponsors. Everyone clamors for his attention, etc. And to play at the level he does on top; no human is infallible enough to handle all that. Something gave in.
Let's give him some of our positive strengths to help bring him back. Let's talk a lot of his foundation and other groups. I know little of what some of his organizations do. Why do the media not "burrow" into his positive activities with zest they have chased him over this story?
Well said, Patricia
Unfortunately glenz, it's human nature to like the scandal and dirt. And that nature is indulged more than ever these days with all the gossip sites. It looks to me that there are far more blogs taking that route too.
ReplyDeleteThis post got deeper that that to our collective need for heros and our desire that those heros be perfect.
I am afraid this may be the tip of an iceberg...but I hope not.
ReplyDeleteI have spent many years on business travel, with athletes, and high level executives. It is easy to talk about fidelity...but it takes strength to refuse what is offered every day. A man like Tiger has multiple propositions every single day he travels.
To make matters worse....over time the constant attention, yes men, and the reality of having people jump at your whisper....leaves many with an altered sense of entitlement. Normal rules, and boundaries no longer apply...you can do anything you want.
It is that same lack of boundaries that allows Tiger to dominate in Golf....lets hope this was one mistake...and we can get back to the game.
I pray that Tiger,and his wife's emotional wounds can be healed...we all make mistakes....BUT you have all the money in the world,a world class model as a wife,a beautiful child,the world"is your oyster",but you still presumably need sex outside of your marriage..need that thrill,that adrenaline rush..he was probably bored.
ReplyDelete@glenz,
ReplyDeleteFor years the media has overlooked very charitable actions from JD. I guess it just doesn't sell like scandal.
I honestly never thought this would be the outcome. Maybe I'm a bit naive, but I don't think suspecting the worst in people is a healthy view either. I hope his family can find happiness again.
Patricia, your comment about this being a voyeuristic world was spot on. While I denounce what he is putting his family through, this should simply be that, a family matter.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the double-sided sword of called the Internet is going to turn this into a 3-6 month circus before (IMO) the majority of Tiger/golf fans alike shift their focus back to the Majors and the game.
To come full circle, I find it terrible disturbing and sickening that our world is so voyeuristic. Since when did living vicariously through others become life? (e.g. reality TV)
Remember Chris Rock's statement of marital fidelity: "A man is as faithful as his options."
ReplyDeleteI hate these guys who judge Tiger and congratulate themselves for not cheating on their wives when there's no way they could ever get a woman to even look at them.
ReplyDelete@Vince - awesome.
ReplyDelete@MarcoMan - Amen.
I hope it does, but I can hardly imagine the marriage surviving. Already it's hard to remember how perfect they seemed.
ReplyDeleteI've had a night to let this sink in...
ReplyDelete"A man is as faithful as his options" WRONG! temptations are there for all of us...a good man finds the will to remain true. If not for his wife...then for his reputation.
I have no problem with the nedia circus on this issue. In many ways this is Tiger's own doing. He has been ruthless cutting out anyone in his team that dared to speak, Fluff for example was not treated well. He created and protected the image, and has prospered from it...investigating the cracks is fair game.
I'm a little bit amazed by how protective everyone was of Tiger and how willing everyone has been to toe the anti-media line he was pushing himself.
ReplyDeleteIs it a case of not wanting to watch as their hero falls from grace?
At the end of the day he must have been aware that this would eventually come out. He's not the victim in this case. He is reaping what he sowed. But lets be real, it's now about him patching up his personal life and moving on with his golfing career. Once he gets back out on the course and starts amazing us all with his skills again this will just be a sidenote in his career. Maybe he'll have a little bit more of a humble nature in his dealings with the public in future too.
@ marcoman
ReplyDeleteyou make it sound like it is something to be proud of?
Everyone faces temptation! The boring family man with nothing to lose shows much more charachter!
A man like Tiger has beautiful women throwing themselves at him everyday. Just say no.
Not only is it infidelity...it is just plain dumb....to risk $$ and reputation...and the careers of all those in team Tiger. It does not show charachter, or integrity.
The wife of that boring family man with charachter married the winner.
I agree tourist. This may just be part of growing up for a man who, let's face it, never got to grow up in the conventional sense. Think of it he never had a normal childhood. I'm not being an apologist here I'm just saying we shouldn't be shocked at this behavior when we imagine how he must have grown up.
ReplyDeletePictures are never real life. Might I add we still don't "know" Tiger. All we know is that there have been new pictures added to the Tiger Woods album of a car accident and other women.
ReplyDeleteEvery marriage has problems and those problems should be dealt with within the marriage. The only reason this is a story of interest is because he is Tiger Woods. What is it about human nature that we praise someone on the way up, yet love to see them fall?
ReplyDeleteYou're probably one real blogger not trying to suck up to anyone by casting sticks and stones at one who is down. Thanks for seeing him through a human eye and acknowledging that he is not infallible.
ReplyDeletecorrection to my last comment-- meant to write acknowledging he is infallible as opposed to the idolizers beliefs
ReplyDeleteWhen I've been asked about Tiger the last few days I just say,"Why is it really any of my business?" This family is being attacked by the media because they love to see failure.....after success.
ReplyDeleteI won't be part of it. I'm going to play golf now......
What Tiger did amounts to emotional abuse towards his wife. Abuse is abuse no matter how you look at it. I will no longer be a fan of Mr. Woods. Tiger knew right from wrong. He didn't need to have a childhood as one poster blames. He completely understood that his actions could possibly lead to this.
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget watching him in a tourney in St. Petersburg and what an ass he was to everyone in the public. I kept rooting for him. No longer.
Great golfer, great marketing, great womanizer.
ReplyDeleteReally admire your writing, Patricia.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm naive, but don't want to believe that a picture is necessarily 'too good to be true.' Perry Como, Danny Thomas, Walt Disney, Tom Hanks come to mind.
That's why many do feel betrayed--totally believed it. There's quite a gulf between 'All American Breck Girl' and psyche member of the 'Rat Pack,' This isn't a minor slip--it was a lifestyle.
Hopefully they can save their marriage. Divorce is invariably sad and reverberating, even tragic.
There is no amount of money or things to replace peace of mind and genuine love and trust in your own home. This is a growth opportunity. I admire his wife-and wish them well.
an excellent blog,some great information
ReplyDelete@Vince re Chris Rock's 'faithful as options.' That's HIS projection. There are many--Coach John Wooden--who care about the real content of their character.
ReplyDeleteI doubt that Tiger feels today that his slutting around with women who can't tie his wife's shoelaces was worth it. It won't be worth it when someone plays the Slow Jam remix of his VMM for his children and humiliates them some years hence. His cringe-worthy shame and betrayal of his deceased father isn't worth it...nor is all the news print that will always be part of his biography, etc.
You're only as powerful as your options, and for a man of pride to be a laughing stock, holed up in his house, begging skanks to change their VMM mesg, and forced to pay his wife tens of millions to get her to stay, doesn't seem like a very powerful place to me.
Well said, Patricia!
ReplyDeleteI wrote a similar post a few days back. I loved that portrait of the Woods family, and even said to my own wife the day I saw it, "wow, don't they look just perfect?"
I don't believe that Tiger ever claimed to be perfect, nor particularly cared what "we" all think. He is the best golfer who has ever played the game, and that is it. Someone, please tell me where it says that being a good golfer makes one a good father, husband, banker, politician, or anything else for that matter.
Tiger has obviously made some mistakes in his personal life, and has a great deal to repair, but that is for him to deal with on his own.
Now, as for that hydrant, well...that was our business, and he paid his fine.
Thanks for writing!
Well Tiger,the real you came out, FINALLY! Why did you really get married? You only married to play the field. I'm waiting for the big hit movie "The many, many women of Tiger Woods". Can't wait for the release. If you would have hung out with the BLACKS, your secrets would still be that, SECRETS. You were too rich and young to get married. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Right on Bro. If your wife was that GOOD, you would not have strayed. Get a divorce and live your life the way you want. Stop letting people tell you how to live. How many women have you been with? You cheated with 10, but, thousands wanted you.
ReplyDeleteTiger, you said you were not Black. What is happening today, is exactly what you reap. You came from a Black man's semen. Or do you remember? Your wife will get over the hurt. Pay her out and move on. All you did was follow suit. Become rich and famous, marry a white woman, she'll quickly have children. Then she will see who you really are. Then she will take half/all of you money. Ask the Pros before. I do not have to name them, you know who they are. Was the Williams sister too black for you? HaHaHaHa
ReplyDelete