Fairway Feline - Hello Kitty

I guess it had to happen eventually.

I saw my first Hello Kitty golf bag today. I had heard about them, but hardly believed they existed. Well, maybe in the furthest reaches of the far east, in cartoon friendly places like Tokyo or Seoul or Taipai, but surely, I thought, they'd never make it out of quarantine here in the US...would they? Well, this one did. It was the pinkest golf bag I'd ever seen. (and I've seen lots of pink golf bags) There were pink club covers too, like in the photo above, and each one bore the image of the annoying mouthless feline who's become the global symbol of girly cuteness.

To make a long story short I'll probably be seeing quite a bit of the bilious bag this summer because... guess what? I became practically best friends with it's adorable owner, Mila, a Russian beauty who plays golf at almost the same pathetic level as I do. Turns out Mila fell in love with Hello Kitty (and with a vacationing retiree from Hartford) in Hong Kong, where she worked as a pole nightclub dancer. Now she lives here in CT with her Hartford Honey, and has been desperately seeking a golf buddy.

On an ominous note, as we were leaving the range Mila hinted that she was looking for additional items of Hello Kitty golf gear. That concerned me. And when I got back to my office I did a quick search. Turns out I had reason to worry:

I found Hello Kitty golf balls.

...and ball markers... In Japan they even have Hello Kitty Cars.

...and how about...A Hello Kitty Airline! Yes, it really exists.

But let's not even go there. This summer I'm just going to do everything in my power to ignore the cloying cuteness of it all and concentrate on improving my golf game. The alternative being a summer in Hello Kitty Hell.